Socjalizacja jest nieodzownym elementem rozwoju społecznego każdego człowieka. To proces, w ramach którego jednostka uczy się norm społecznych, wartości, zachowań i umiejętności niezbędnych do funkcjonowania w społeczeństwie. Jednakże, pomimo pozytywnego celu, socjalizacja może mieć również negatywne skutki, szczególnie w kontekście traumatyzowania dziecka. Socjalizacja to nic innego jak wzbudzanie w dziecku wstydu w celu narzucenia mu norm społecznych, obowiązków wynikających z ról społecznych i postaw, które zdaniem ich rodziców są właściwe.
Traumatyzacja jest doświadczeniem, które wywołuje trwałe i szkodliwe skutki dla psychiki jednostki. Może wynikać z różnych czynników, takich jak przemoc, zaniedbanie, utrata bliskiej osoby czy trudności emocjonalne, podkreślić należy również, że wydarzeniem traumatycznym dla dziecka jest również odstawienie od piersi, trening czystości, niezadowolenie rodzica i jego brak akceptacji dla ekspresji dziecka i jego emocjonalności. Omówmy najpierw traumatyzację poprzez zachowania toksyczne rodziców.
Pierwszym czynnikiem, który może przyczyniać się do traumatyzowania dziecka w procesie socjalizacji, jest niewłaściwe traktowanie ze strony rodziców lub opiekunów. Na przykład, nieodpowiedzialne używanie przemocy wobec dziecka, emocjonalne zaniedbywanie go, nadmierne krytykowanie lub zastraszanie mogą powodować poważne obrażenia psychiczne u dziecka. Taka trauma może mieć długotrwałe skutki, takie jak zaburzenia lękowe, depresja czy trudności w budowaniu zdrowych relacji interpersonalnych.
Kolejnym aspektem traumatyzującym może być presja rówieśnicza, związana z koniecznością dostosowania się do grupy i spełnienia jej oczekiwań. Dzieci, które nie pasują do stereotypowych wzorców zachowań czy zainteresowań, często spotykają się z wykluczeniem, szykanami lub odrzuceniem przez rówieśników. Na przykład, gdy chłopiec wykazuje zainteresowanie tańcem baletowym, może spotkać się z drwinami i nękaniami ze strony innych dzieci. Taka trauma społeczna może prowadzić do izolacji społecznej, obniżonej samooceny oraz problemów emocjonalnych u dziecka.
Dodatkowo, nieodpowiednia edukacja seksualna w ramach socjalizacji może również traumatyzować dzieci. Brak jasnych informacji na temat rozwoju seksualnego, granic w relacjach między ludźmi czy ochrony przed wykorzystaniem seksualnym może prowadzić do lęku, wstydu i trudności w nawiązywaniu intymnych relacji w przyszłości. Przykładowo, gdy dziecko nie otrzymuje odpowiednich informacji na temat swojego ciała i zdrowych relacji seksualnych, może czuć się zagubione, a to może prowadzić do powstania trwałych traum i problemów związanych z seksualnością w dorosłym życiu.
Ważne jest również zauważenie, że socjalizacja może prowadzić do wewnętrznego konfliktu u dziecka, szczególnie jeśli wartości i normy społeczne są sprzeczne z tym, co dziecko odczuwa lub wierzy. Na przykład, gdy pewne społeczne oczekiwania narzucają stereotypy płciowe, a dziecko nie identyfikuje się z nimi, może to prowadzić do poczucia alienacji, nieakceptacji i traumy emocjonalnej. Dzieci, które identyfikują się jako osoby LGBTQ+, często doświadczają traumy związanej z odrzuceniem, dyskryminacją lub przemocą ze strony społeczeństwa, co ma negatywne konsekwencje dla ich zdrowia psychicznego.
Ostatnim aspektem traumatyzowania dziecka, które chciałbym omówić to traumatyzowanie poprzez niezadowolenie i zawstydzanie . Nie ma to nic wspólnego z przemocą, uzależnieniami itp.. Wielokrotnie w gabinecie spotykam się z osobami które doświadczają nienawiści i wrogości wobec siebie. Ich destrukcyjny sposób funkcjonowania w relacji z sobą ma początek w niezadowoleniu i nieakceptacji pewnych cech które posiadają a które uległy fragmentacji i wyparciu, aby zapobiec „dziecięcej śmierci” czy odrzuceniu i separacji od obiektu od którego dziecko jest całkowicie zależne (matka). Niezadowolenie mamy jest niebezpieczne i grozi śmiercią, tak przynajmniej postrzega tą zależną relację dziecko. Dlatego doświadczając niezadowolenia, dezaprobaty, odczuwa wstyd i poczucie bycia niewystarczającym, uruchamia adaptacyjny mechanizm fragmentacji i odrzuca część siebie (wzbudza w sobie nienawiść do pewnej części siebie).
Aby zapobiec traumatyzacji w procesie socjalizacji, konieczne jest działanie na wielu poziomach. Rodzice i opiekunowie powinni przykładać wagę do odpowiedniego traktowania dziecka, respektowania jego indywidualności i tworzenia bezpiecznej atmosfery. Szkoły powinny promować akceptację, tolerancję i równość wśród uczniów oraz zapewnić wsparcie psychologiczne dla tych, którzy tego potrzebują. Społeczeństwo jako całość powinno dążyć do eliminacji przemocy, dyskryminacji i niesprawiedliwości poprzez edukację i promowanie równości.
Wnioskiem jest to, że socjalizacja, mimo swojego pozytywnego celu, może prowadzić do traumatyzowania dziecka, szczególnie w kontekście niewłaściwego traktowania, presji rówieśniczej, nieodpowiedniej edukacji seksualnej, konfliktu wartości czy internalizacji toksycznych wzorców. Dlatego ważne jest, aby społeczeństwo i instytucje odpowiedzialne za socjalizację dzieci podejmowały działania mające na celu zapewnienie zdrowego i bezpiecznego rozwoju psychospołecznego każdego dziecka.
Mam nadzieję, że ten artykuł będzie inspiracją dla rodziców, pamiętajcie że nikt nie jest doskonały ale do tej doskonałości powinniśmy dążyć poprzez racjonalny rozwój swoich umiejętności.
Jeśli przeczytałeś/aś ten artykuł , a w głowie ciągle krąży Ci sformułowanie „nienawidzenie siebie” , jesteś jedną z Tych osób dla których stworzyłem warsztat SelfLove. Zapraszam do uczestnictwa!
Kontakt z Nami – tutaj
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